So you want to be a Twitter security expert? I have come up with an easy to follow list to make sure you are:
All Cons, All The Time!
If you are not tweeting about flying to, attending, partying at, or flying home from a con at least once a month you cant be a security expert. Also try not to mention what you actually do for a living. It removes some of the expert shine.
Be an expert on EVERYTHING.
Heartbleed? Drones? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370? Top Secret NSA Domestic Spying Programs? Windows Patching? Programming? All in your wheelhouse. If you are going to be a twitter security expert you need to know this stuff. Skimming half a wikipedia page qualifies you to speak on any subject authoritatively.
Everything is your business.
A company you own no stock in appoints someone you dont like to their board of directors or CEO? Good thing you are an expert on EVERYTHING! Time to be really outraged and let everyone know it!
It is all about you!
This is the main rule of being a security expert on twitter! Every time somebody expresses an opinion with which you disagree, they are doing it to anger you personally. It would be wrong to not to take it as a deeply personal insult.
How many followers do you have?
Make you sure you are have at minimum one bot a week tweet about how many followers, re-tweet and mentions you have. You need people to know how important and influential you are!
Dear Windows XP,
So this is how it feels to feel abandoned? That is the question you have to be asking yourself this morning. For the last 4549 days you have been a constant workhorse for PCs around the world and this morning Microsoft has decided that you are no longer worthy of support.
I remember the first time I meet you. I was a 20 something systems admin who was in love with Redhat 7.1 and I thought you were going to be the end of the enterprise operating system. A few service packs later you were a solid work horse who did her job without any real complaints.
You have been great to me and my career. I owe you a lot and until Windows 7 came out you had been what I have used and supported nearly every day of my life for 10 years (I am still sorry about that fling I had with Vista in 2007. She was shiny, pretty and had so much promise. I am wrong and glad we can move on.).
I know you will live on in unprepared and underfunded schools, banks and grandparents systems for the next 10 years but I am going to miss you. Thanks for all the good memories you gave me and thanks for taking me this far in my career!
Life’s greatest difficulties always happen right before life’s greatest breakthroughs.
If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.
Twitter added a photo tagging feature today and like Facebook decided to have the default setting to allow anyone to tag you.
For your own saftey you should change it to this:
The steps to do this are easy:
1) Login to Twitter.com
2) Go to the Settings tab.
3) Go to the Security tab.
4) Under Photo Tagging click “Do not allow anyone to tag me in photos”.
5) Scroll to the bottom of the page and Click “Save changes”
6) Enter your password to save your changes.
My favorite conference asked the following question this morning:
#44CON QOTW: If you could watch two hacker films the night before 44CON what would they be? Just erm asking— 44CON (@44CON)March 24, 2014
My answer was the noncontroversial WarGames and the controversial The Goonies.
My friend Steve Lord asks the question that inspired this blog post:
@JGamblin @44CON is the goonies a hacker film?— Fake Steve Lord (@stevelord) March 24, 2014
Why yes it is. Please let me explain:
Gooines: A group of working class families are being evicted from their houses to make room for an expansion of a country club.
Hacking: Data was the original hardware hacker. Any security conference you attend will have at least one talk of someone hacking non security related hardware.
Hacking: The Fratellis are basically a group of blackhat hackers who think they are a smarter than they really are and can be easily defeated by a group of teenagers.
Hacking: The hacking community is basically built on taking a group of socially awkward people and forming tight knit and caring communities.
If you aren’t training new leaders you are on autopilot and you won’t succeed.
Today I had a “Classic Jerry” moment and had a pen explode as I was spinning it around in a meeting.
This was the aftermath:
Afterwards I post the exact same same stats to my FaceBook and Twitter account:
“My pen broke while I spinning it around in a meeting it ruined my shirt and got ink all over my face.”
The reactions couldn’t have been more different.
On twitter I get made fun of:
and on Facebook I get tips on how to remove the stain:
This is what it is like anytime I am asked to search someone’s computer.
I had a chance last night to speak to the Central Missouri Foster Care and Adoption Association about social media and social media security.
My opening question was simple:
What does social media and hammers have in common?
The two main points of my talk were the following:
My first point was:
You wouldn’t give your 13 year old a box of nails and hammer and tell them to go build something without first showing them how to properly use a hammer. This means as parents you are going to need to know the difference between a snapchat and an instagram. The days of being able to say “I dont do that internet thing” are over.
My second point was:
According to the FBI 2011 496 people were killed by hammers. It was terrible and tragic misuse of the tool. The way to fix that isn’t to ban hammers. This applies to social media also. There are tons of tragic cases about when people misuse social media but that shouldn’t stop you from letting your child use this very important communication tool.
This was one of the favorite groups I have talked to all year. These people all have amazingly loving hearts for kids and want to do what is best for them. It was great to talk to a group of such involved parents.
Can you name 5 people who are better at your job than you are?
I was asked this question earlier today and after trying to convince myself that “no one is better than I am” I took 5 minutes and wrote out a list of people who are better at my job than I am.
If you could ask them 5 questions what would they be?
This wasn’t as hard and I came up with these 5 pretty quick:
What drives you?
What is the first thing you do when you get to the office?
How do you manage work and life balance?
What books have influenced your career that most?
What was your biggest failure and what did you learn from it?
Now it is your turn: Can you name 5 people who are better at your job than you are? If you could ask them 5 questions what would they be?
The truth is like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.
Would you believe someone if they told you that they had four simple words that if asked honestly can make you successful?
I have those four words.
My grandpa gave them to me when I started my first job at 13 and came home complaining of being bored. He asked me if I had asked my boss “What can I do?”. I hadn’t… why would I… who asks for more work? Not me… I just wanted to work long enough to make enough money to buy a Super Nintendo.
He told me something I won’t forget. He told me that asking “What can I do?” and then doing it had made him successful in anything he had ever tried.
Why am I telling you my secret of success? Mostly because I didn’t know it was a secret and because there was this question on twitter last night:
If you had 15 minutes with your company’s Chief Executive, what would you say… RIGHT NOW. Curious on answers…— Rafał Łoś (@Wh1t3Rabbit)March 4, 2014
My answer was:
@Wh1t3Rabbit “What can I do to help you do your job better?”— Jerry Gamblin (@JGamblin)March 4, 2014
His respone was telling:
@JGamblin Interesting. Love the idea but how do you say that without the hint of “you don’t do your job well enough” creeping in?— Rafał Łoś (@Wh1t3Rabbit)March 4, 2014
I see where he is coming from. I will admit sometimes I ask my wife “What can I do?" while I am sitting on the couch watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle reruns and surfing the web while she cooks dinner. Hoping she says "Nothing… I am just doing the dishes, negotiating world peace and cooking dinner…just finish watching TV" when I know in honesty I am not doing all I can.
Asking “What Can I Do?" is a dangerous question it can lead to all kinds of unattended consequences like having to take out the trash or having your boss give you more responsibilities.
So please be careful with those four words and dont tell anyone I told you.